Tuesday 1 January 2013

Year-End Blog

2012 was a crazy year. Crazier than I have ever imagined. I think it's one of those tough years! It was a rollercoaster sending me through the highest of highs and lowest of lows turning me upside down and wanting me to puke and give up on it. But as I hold on to my safety buckle, the rollercoaster is slowing down, letting me go and handing me over to 2013 telling me I did great (well, kinda)

THANK YOU 2012, YOU MADE ME STRONGER

January - qmedia family

Ely and Esra, my angels

my bestfriend, go-to person and man version, Chbani

MARCO GIONY!!!
April 7: Lola left us :(
April 16 - Kaye & JC arrived to Doha

Fam bam is <3

MAY 13, 2012: OLDER AND BETTER
August: Zoul Projects job

The Pearl-Qatar

Zoul Projects girls

October 29: First day out with friends

November 16: Surprise party for Tij

DIBS <3

Gained an older sister! :)

Boyfie!

November 30: JC's celeb
Christmas Thank You List




"I don't want to look back, I just want to keep moving forward..."

 

2013 I AM SO READY FOR YOU! :)



Hello 2013










Tuesday 25 September 2012

Not Today

“There is only one god, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: ‘Not today’.”
-Syrio Forel


Death of a dear one is the hardest thing humans have to go through. Screw poverty, politics and broken hearts. Death. Without a doubt is that one thing we never which to happen. It is a tragedy that no one can prevent.

Today, in particular was a very sad day for the family. My uncle's wife died of an unknown sickness. You know what's fucked up? They just got married for almost three weeks. And my mum was tasked to break the news to him. They made him sit on my bed and told him. The moment was surreal, it's like a nightmare that you want to get out off. It wasn't like heartbreak. It was more like your heart was ripped right off your cages, your soul emptied, your world, your reality crashed down on you.

Growing up with a solid Catholic foundation, we were always taught that death is not the end but just the beginning. That there are greater and grand plans awaiting for you. That the love of you life, now dead cold and rotting is meant to die on you. But setting aside beliefs and religion and rationale, I can say that what people are telling you about meant-to-happen and reasons: CRAP. They are just telling you that, but fucking ask them the reason, they certainly won't know. I know I don't mean this, because I truly believe that there are greater purpose for everything, but please, don't tell me these things when I'm in the middle of mourning.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is death is not a god. DEATH IS A BITCH.

Monday 25 June 2012

Things You Forget When You're Not Happy

When you're not happy, you forget that there are other words for it, like sad, lonely, miserable, or maybe depressed. But you don't care all you know is that you are NOT happy. You forget that the sun rises on east and sets on the west. You forgot how sunshine feels. You forgot how friendly lights can be. You forgot that there are other places aside from your bedroom. Well actually, aside under that duvet of yours. You forget how your stomach can hurt from laughing. Damn, you forgot how to laugh. You forget people, family, friends.

You forget that the world is full of possibilities.
You forget how good happiness feels.
You forget that this too shall pass.

Friday 15 June 2012

One Year of Sand and Sun

Sitting on the waiting area, taking last minutes call, saying my goodbyes and I'm-gonna-miss-you, and wondering what life would be after the nine hours plane ride I'm going to take.



As flight QR 647 landed by 9.30pm at June 14, 2011, in Doha, Qatar... my life will never be the same again. And as I reached my one year mark, I look back and reminisce the ups and (a lot of) downs, the pros and cons, how I treated Doha as my new home, and how Philippines, my beloved country will always be missed.

---


Choosing to choose Doha over PHL to live for a couple of years, maybe one of the hardest decision I've ever made. And I think, through out my senior year in college, I was deciding whether to go or not.There are a lot of things to consider-- people, places, culture, family. Half of my family is already living here, that be my parents and my youngest brother. And I was left with my two other siblings, juggling between being a Communication Arts student, and friend at school, and being a sister/mother/father at home. But I choose to leave PHL, for a lot of reasons, I would want not to mention anymore. Even though that means leaving my best friend, my friends, relatives, favorite places, siblings. Even if that means leaving my safety zone.

It was a hard road, a path I took that I always wonder (sometimes until now) if it's the right one. I was a foreigner to almost everyone, a fresher to every employer, a newbie to the elite Doha.

---

There are a lot of adjustments I went through, dressing up was one of them (and gaaad! With this Doha weather, I am still not used to it). I was used to put on flip flops, a loose top, and shorts and I'd be seen chilling in the mall. But I can't now, and I understand and respect the culture I entered. Pork is also not easily available here, which is kinda not a problem for me, but still, it's new to me. The bipolar weather drives me insane, 40++ degrees for most of the year, and 10 degrees for a short lived winter. People's language and English accents are confusing too.




Parking Lot View from our Patio


I noticed that there are a lot of round-abouts, and a lot (but not enough) parking lots! And shopping malls will always be full. It seems that there are one color for all the buildings, and that is off-white (or maybe white, then the sand covered it, I'm not sure). Cars, luxury cars, sports cars and more cars around. A lot of "drivers" hitting the road like crazy. And a lot of construction going on. And though there are some that looks at you like you're from another planet, a lot of people are friendly, and all smiles when you look at them. I guess, the best part of this is meeting a lot of people from different nationalities, you feel like you've seen that part of the globe because of the people you encountered.

---

And as for the career side of my life. God, it was the harderst. I guess if you're going to look back and focus on my job, you may say that I have wasted more three-fourths of my stay here. Yes, I'm not proud that I had worked for only three months (almost four), but what I am proud of is that I have never settled for anything less than my dream. And as I hit my first year here, as I've been through a lot of interviews, a lot of emails and calls, I know that I am closer to the job that I love.


my q.media family! :) -- Dos(c)


I came here as a fresher, and so most of the employers think that I may not be a good asset for the company, but *ehem*, modesty aside, my dear employers, I am one of the  best there is! :) HAHAHA I am committed, competent and compassionate (yes, that is the 3 C's my university taught me to embody in whatever I do). And I am blessed that Ms. Latifa of q.media gave me the opportunity, even if it's a freelance job to be an Events Project Assistant. My time with qmedia, I think was the highlight of my year. Not only was I exposed to the corporate world, doing grown up stuff, dealing with high profile people, but also I experienced the whole world with the projects I was part of (Doha Trade Fair and Qatar Motor Show). Also, I get to work witht the amazing people/bosses. And I got to meet Chbani, my guy best friend! :) YAY!


Bday Celeb with ze best friend! :)


And though there were a lot of frustrated, helpless, clueless and unemployed days, I believe that the job I want is really near. And I am more than happy to accept it. So stoked! And I know all good things are worth the wait.

---

Lastly, as I looked back on that one year, I am thankful to Doha for welcoming me, and maybe treating me as its own. But I will always, always and I mean always, miss my beloved country, the Republic of the Philippines. And no matter how many people asked me in a day, no matter what nationality asks me (even the Filipino ones), why I don't look like a Filipina, I will never have an answer to your question, except to say that I am 100% Pinoy and proud to be. I may not be there, and you may be a third world struggling country, far different from the first world Doha, but I will always love you, and you will always be my home. See you for a visit soon, maybe?


---

Sunrise in Doha

The Torch and Doha's sunset captured from the passenger seat

The view from q.media's office

My first purchase from my first salary

Live. Love. Laugh.

*photos from my iPhone

Things will get better, and brighter. BELIEVE♥

Tuesday 29 May 2012

Today

Random things. May 29, 2012. The things I am feeling right now cannot be summed up into any word. I am sad for the families that lost their loved ones yesterday at the mall fire. I am happy because my brother just got a good job. On the other hand, I am frustrated, I still don't have one. I am depressed. I am thankful I'm still alive. That everyone I love is. Technically, not everyone. But still. I miss my best friends. Where are they? I understand that they are busy and I cannot be and cannot bear to be a burden for them. I miss my hometown. Though I don't wanna go home yet. My head is throbbing. I have a very bad case of headache right now. I always have this feeling of giving up. I always try not to. I am lying in my bed thinking of all the reasons not to. I try to have a positive outlook all the time. I'm on the verge of giving up. I am failing at every single gaddamn thing. I don't know where to go from here.

I am lost. Find me. Please.

Wednesday 16 May 2012

I Met A Perfect Person

Today is the 40th day of my grandma's passing.

I can't say that the family is healed from her death, but we also know that she is in a better place right now.

My grandmother has always been my role model. I always think she's perfect. I know people say no one is, but if you had the pleasure of knowing her, you'd definitely agree with me. She's a perfect mother/grandmother, wife, friend and whatever-role-she-played in someone's life. I wasn't there for almost a year, and then she's gone. I was so heart broken. It's so hard being away from her. I always thought that I am her favorite grandchild. Not only because I as the first born girl in the family, but the fact that I was so close to her and that there are only two photographs in there room: the family photo and the photo of us. I miss her. Everyday. I feel like a part of me died with her.

I hope she's in heaven now. It's cliche when people say, "I hope I can be half of what she is" about someone. But now, I do understand that line. And I'll be honoured to be even an inch of what she became.


I love you lola. Forever and Always.

Monday 14 May 2012

Money, Money, Money

"You know, I thought money's everything"
-Kuram (his answer when my dad asked why he's leaving Doha for good, and to think that he has a good income here)

It was such a cliche sentence. But so true. I actually wanted to butt in and say, "It is." HAHA But we all know that wasn't true. The way he said it, and the way he added that he may not get as much salary in his hometown but he's happy there with his family and friends.

I mean let's face it, money can bring you a whole lot of things. It can even buy you happiness, but at the end of the day, the saying, "the best things in life are free" is pretty accurate.

I stared at the streets, road and people that we passed by, looked into the sky and thought what he said was the most important lesson I heard today.